


Is Cersei an Asshole?

by TeamGwenee



Series: Am I the Asshole? [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:23:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24355777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGwenee/pseuds/TeamGwenee
Summary: Alone and desperate, Cersei turns to reddit for guidance.
Relationships: Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Series: Am I the Asshole? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959919
Comments: 45
Kudos: 131





	Is Cersei an Asshole?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t6n3xe/aita_for_giving_this_girl_a_flower_crown_in_front_of_my_wife_Follow Up: I may have started a war

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e2t8op/aita_for_tricking_my_daughter_into_a_miscarriage_and_marrying_her_to_a_man_old_enough_to_be_her_grandad

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/t7c8ui/aita_for_beheading_my_daughters_pet_dog

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/y9c4de/aita_for_telling_my_little_sister_she_should_have_died_and_not_dumping_my_boyfriend_who_tried_to_mutiliate_her_stinky_friend

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f4k9nb/aita_for_threatening_to_cut_out_my_sisters_baby_from_her_womb_in_a_sacred_temple Added Info:I am the rightful king.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r8b9we/aita_for_eloping_with_the_love_of_my_life_and_breaking_a_betrothal_that_might_mean_the_death_of_my_family

https://www.reddit.com/r/Justnofil/comments/gcg132/you_will_NOT_believe_the_stunt_my_father_in_law_pulled_at_my_wedding

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/f4t6se/aita_for_lying_to_my_girlfriend_about_the_fact_im_secretly_plotting_against_and_gathering_intel_about_her_people

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r9d4hj/aita_for_plotting_to_kill_my_granddaughters_evil_fiance Follow Up: Of course not

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/r9d4hj/aita_for_having_my_dragon_set_fire_to_a_slaver

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/d6e2vv/aita_for-being_suspicious_of_this_guy_who_crippled_a_kid_and_saved_me_from_a_bear Added Info: He told me my dress matched my eyes and I told him my bra was padded. Is that weird? 

  
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/c9t2le/aita_for_thinking_this_girl_should_have_gotten_over_the_fact_I_betted_on_her_virginity

  
https://www.reddit.com/r/Justnomil/comments/fpe362/_my_MIL_tried_to_frame_me_for_adultery_and_get_me_beheaded_is_it_time_to_go_no_contact

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/l2v3xv/aita_for_being_disgusted_by_my_crippled_lover

**AITA For Being Disgusted By My Crippled Lover?**

A bit of background, my SO and I used to be very close. I mean, incredibly close. We were practically inseparable, at least until we came out of the womb. Growing up we could never bear to be parted. We were truly twin souls.

Also, we were twins. That is how close we were.

We come from a very proud family and it has been made clear to us since infancy that no one else was worthy of us, so naturally when it came to choosing a lover where else would we look to?

My father is a great man but has always been cold since our mother’s dead. My mother was a beautiful woman who died giving birth to my deformed little brother, who is a vindictive little imp who is destined to strangle me to death (not getting into that now). 

But my twin, he was perfect and strong and golden. Just like me. We used to dress up as each other and no one could tell us apart. Of course, a few other people did try to keep us apart. I had a little bitch of a friend who had been secretly scheming to marry him, the treacherous little whore. She died when she was only eleven. 

(Very tragic death, and very long. Lots of shouting.)  
  
There was a time I had hoped to be wed to an even greater match. The greatest in the realm, but that fell through. I was heartbroken. But I still had my twin, my beautiful twin.

In him, I could see the person I was meant to be. My father had raised him as his heir, whilst I was raised to be sold like a sow at the market. My SO was taught leadership and combat and battle tactics, I was taught to curtsy with my back straight. My father could not see that I was his true heir, the one who would continue our family’s glorious legacy. But as long as I had my twin, as long as he was mine, then his power was mine as well. 

Then he left. Left to go to war to defend our worthless little brother. That is (or was) my brother’s only flaw. He has a strange fondness for that grotesque monster, twisted and perverted as he is. Not only that, my SO went and got himself captured. I was left alone. Alone to kill my husband, arrest his best friend, emotionally abuse his best friend’s daughter, and kill off all his little bastards that threatened my beautiful boy’s throne. 

How selfish.

By the time he had returned, our son was dead and our younger engaged to an ambitious little whore. I had hoped things would pick up, and we reunited next to our son’s dead body. 

But then things went wrong. I begged him to stop my son’s marriage, to wed the slut himself. I begged him to kill our revolting brother who had murdered my eldest boy. But he returned to in no better a state than the imp himself. His hand, his swordhand which gave him such strength and power, had been cut off. Now he is a cripple. And with his hand, all his courage was taken from him as well. 

Now, I have told you how much I valued seeing the power in him that should have been mine. That was mine as long as he belonged to me. But how can I do that when he is a cripple!? The very sight of it filled me with horror. As well as now being physically repulsive to me, he can’t even understand how hard the fact he lost his hand is for me.

Because of his pathetic softness for our brother, our father died and the fate of the kingdom was left on my shoulders. Fortunately, I rose to the challenge admirably. I quickly filled the council with good men who did whatever I said, and began plans to take down my poor son’s scheming little bitch of a wife. But my brother, my twin soul, began fretting and questioning every decision I made. In the end, I had to do away with him and sent him off to tidy up some messes in the Riverlands.

Anyway, due to a series of events that I cannot be blamed for, I have found myself in a cell under charges of fornication, incest and treason. The knight I seduced to frame my deceitful daughter in law switched his story when they whipped him, and the singer who testified against her is considered unreliable because we had to torture him to get the story out. 

It is all wretchedly unfair. I cannot have a trial by seven because the judges are all biased against me (can’t stand working with a strong, independent woman, I suppose). The only option left to me is a trial by combat, but because I must be represented by a member of the Kingsguard my options for champions are low. My brother and I have long known that we will die together, as we were born together. I wrote him a letter, pleading for him to come and be my salvation. Without his hand he is likely to lose, but at least we will die by each other’s side as is right.

Problem is, I haven’t heard from him. There are even some rumours that he’s disappeared with some ghastly, brutish creature with big cow eyes and tiny tits. Now I have to wonder if the fact that his missing hand repulsed me and the fact I had him leave the city the moment he began disagreeing me, might have cooled his affections. Men are so fickle.

I don’t know. Am I the Asshole? 

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e4h8io/aita_for_putting_my_sisters_letter_into_the_fire_(it_means_she_will_probably_die)


End file.
